Episode 8 - No Well

It's Big Red's Fun Bus' Xmas Special!

Well we're all stuffed with turkey, unless you're one of those weirdos that eats salmon for Xmas dinner, and ready now to get this tinsel-filled sell-fest over with. But first let's catch up with all our favourite Xmas characters such as Santa, Rudolph, er...Santa and Noddy Holder.

Plus as it's Xmas there are plenty of commercials. Will you be seeing a Scottish based Xmas film, or heading down to Tony's for some gifts. Or will you just spend Boxing Day scratching your bum?

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Episode 7 - Moon River

In this edition Vlad Mackay has a go at Twilight, Jimmy has a go at the sexual habits of those younger than him and David Hasselhoff, Rugger Man details why he quit drinking.

There’s another Scottish lesson, Mercenary Charity Worker rages against the credit crunch and Simon “Strings” Mackenzie recommends his favourite club night.

Plus Malcolm dissects the Michael Jackson seance, finding water on the moon and Adele’s Chasing Pavements and there’s much, much more (alright three other sketches).

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Episode 6 - A Symphony Of Titters

It’s the quickly cobbled together Hallowe’en cash in, er, special of Big Red’s Fun Bus!

In this edition Sylvester gives his tips on how to pull at a Hallowe’en party and we meet Vlad Mackay, the Paisley based vampire.

Plus lots more spooky goings on.

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Sky's Michael Jackson Seance

Death By Twitter

According to severely restricted social network spout pipe Twitter every single celebrity in the world has died. All projects they were working on will now be released as special tribute editions, no matter what stage of completion they stood at. After this the only new media of any sort shall be those things they did early that were shelved for being dire but now that those starring are famous there is a selling point.

A memorial service for all the deceased fame whores will be held next week but will not be televised due to the lack of celebrity attendance on account of them all being dead.

The day after the service a popular national tabloid will no doubt print sordid details of eachof the celebs final hours leading up until their collective death, every account involving how they piled drink/drugs/bacon into their system whilst having freaky sex in a cupboard with a hooker/bit on the side.

It is unclear how ordinary people will cope with this brave new non-starlet filled world and Samaritans have announced extra operators to cope with an increase of calls.

UPDATE!!!

All the celebrities quoted on social lie spout Twitter as being dead are, in fact, alive.

The memorial service will still be held as practice in case this hoax ever becomes a tragic reality.

Don't Boycott Scotland

How To Tell Scrooge McDuck's A Glaswegian

Bill Corbett, of the hilarious Rifftrax team, posted a while back on his Twitter page a rather interesting link. Supposedly Scrooge McDuck, of Duck Tales fame, is from Glasgow. So here's a guide to how you can tell that Scrooge McDuck is a Glaswegian:

There was a banned episode of Duck Tales where McDuck stabbed a guy for "looking at him a bit funny"

He does a flawless Rab C. Nesbitt impersonation when he's drunk

His liver's flammable

He regularly hangs out with that other lovable animated racial stereotype Groundskeeper Willy.

He clearly doesn't have any teeth

If the opening credits to Duck Tales are to be believed he swims in his money (00:23):



Anything to avoid a bath, eh?

He's got a lot of kids hanging about his house that aren't his. Probably fiddling the benefits again.

He doesn't wear any underwear.

Like all successful Scots he buggered off abroad (unless Duckburg is just outside Clachnacuddin)

He's a racist. Okay he doesn't say it out loud but all of his friends are white.

See it's obvious when someone points it out to you!

Episode 5 - Burns Scuppered

In this edition Eddie Armin gets spiritual, there’s some shocking news reports from Scotland’s crack news team, plus Malcolm Chuff pontificates about Palestinian tourism and whether the BBC should ban swearing.

Simon “Strings” McKenzie gives us another cool band, there’s a guide to speaking foreign and the Mercenary Charity Worker promotes a controversial charity.

Plus there are commercials that aim to change your way of life.

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Podbean Player

Just a quick reminder ahead of the imminent arrival of episode 5 of Big Red's Fun Bus that you can hear the first four episodes on this very site. You don't need to trawl through all the guff, sorry, momentous comedic witterings, oh no.

Instead of looking for all the posts labelled "the show" you can check out all available episodes at any time thanks to the Podbean Player. There's one on the sidebar and another at the bottom of the page (plus there's another on the Big Red's Fun Bus My Space page. Bebo won't allow it to be embedded at the moment so other arrangements are being made to post the show on there for the members of that group if they're too lazy to go elsewhere!).

If you still don't know what is being referred to here it is:

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Episode 5 In The Works

Episode 5 of Big Red's Fun Bus has been a long time in the making.

Actually that's a lie because I've just started making it. I'll try and make sure it doesn't become a long time in the making as of now though.

Keep your eyes peeled for the next episode of Paisley's Premier Pile of Poo sketch show (not a tag that I think will catch on!) coming soon.

Complaining To The BBC

Technology Vs. Paper

Episode 4 - Pigs In Blankets

It’s the worst disease to afflict mankind since the Millennium Bug and SARS teamed up to become an almighty force for evil. That’s right, Swine Flu. Scourge of all that is holy.

That or another Avian Flu.

Anyhoo that means an impromptu Swine Flu special of Big Red’s Fun Bus written and recorded in one day.

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Wii Movie

Episode 3 - The Pies Have It

In this edition Simon "Strings" McKenzie recommends another essential band, Mercenary Charity Worker tries to help the blind and Malcolm Chuff offers his thoughts on George Galloway, the Pope's visit to Africa and Scotland's obesity crisis.

There's also another edition of Learn To Speak Scottish (West Coast Edition), Betty and Senga compare war wounds and Sylvester Singleton offers his tips on what not to do on a first date.

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Happy Fucking Easter

Gorge yourself on chocolate and show your love for Jesus, who lest we forget invented it, hence today's celebration. Then he teamed up with the Easter Bunny and defeated evil. So give thanks and eat an Aero egg.

Toilet Paper: A Rant

Sorry!

Life's been a bit hectic so episode 3 is going to be a bit late. It's been pretty much written so just needs to be recorded and edited. Should be up sometime in the following week.

Twatter

I don't have a Twitter account. There I've outed myself. How weird am I? If I did it would probably read like this. Think of it as an anti-micro-blog.

Watching Flight of the Conchords. Might pause it and go for a piss.
10:13 PM Mar 1st from web
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Lightbulb's went and gone in the lamp. Can't see where I'm going to fit new one.
1:48 AM Mar 2nd from web
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What was that noise out the back door?
8:02 PM Mar 4th from web
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Turns out it was a badger doing battle with a fox. Nothing interesting.
8:04 PM Mar 4th from web
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Thinking about having a Jammie Dodger. That or a Wagon Wheel. Decisions, decisions.
1:33 PM Mar 5th from web
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Got a blonde patch in my hair now. That's what happens when you don't realise a bird's shat on yer heid.
10:01 PM Mar 6th from web
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Just sitting on the grass with my finger up my arse, playing with my ding-a-ling. Back door's got a high wall.
2:20 PM Mar 7th from web
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What a week! What a fucking week! You'll never believe all the mental shizzle that's been going on! Momentus shizzle! Right what happened wa
6:05 PM Mar 13th from web
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Hmmm, seems that anti-micro-blogging isn't much different to actual micro-blogging.

My Life As A Dog

Episode 2 - Away To See A Man About A Dug

In this edition the Mercenary Charity Worker attempts to save the children of Africa, Eddie Armin reads one of his “Horrorscopes”, Leo DC reminisces on his time on Marvin’s Room and Jimmy Jacket remembers what holidays were like back in his day.

Plus there’s another edition of Learn To Speak Scottish (West Coast Edition), Sylvester Singleton warns of the dangers of buying your lady friend chocolates and Simon “Strings” McKenzie recommends the new hottest bands.

Also Malcolm Chuff is on hand to give his views on Religious bus adverts, Korean dog cloning and whether swans are better than Bengal tigers.

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Episode 2...

...is on its way. Honest!

Help Save Ginger Hair

In addition to the Podcast there will be other stuff on this here blog site thingamajig. Here's one of those other things, a video sketch about an issue very dear to my heart:

Episode 1 - Sharks On A Plane

Here’s episode 1 of Big Red’s Fun Bus.

In this edition Jimmy Jacket reminisces about what entertainment was like in his day, Eddie Armin tries his hand at hypnotism, Malcolm Chuff offers his thoughts on Boy George’s arrest, the nature of heroism, Hollywood’s possible treatment of the Hudson River plane crash and the discovery of methane on Mars.

Plus there’s an edition of Learn To Speak Scottish (West Coast) and David Hasselhoff, Rugger player, looks back at his time on Baywatch.

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